Happy July my readers!
So now it's July. The Fourth happened, Happy Birthday America. And what a birthday it was, full of bbq's, drinks, friends gabbing, laughter under the green umbrella, jello desserts of all shapes and sizes and loads of pretty explosives in the sky. Oh holidays :)....my cat is sitting next to me and he just snored real loudly and it scared me. Moving on...
I wanted to share some (more)awkward moments that have happened since the last awkward post.
2. Playing racquetball with my mom and getting a nice smack in the face from the ball, the wall, and my racket.
3. Having all of your friends either cancel on you or too busy to hang out with you so you end up staying home alone for 7 hours talking to your cats and staring at yourself in the mirror until your parents come home.
4. I should also add to no.3: pretending you're on a cooking show teaching viewers (i.e. no one) how to make a salad. Dancing around the house like you are on So You Think You Can Dance...and no you cannot, checking your phone every 2 min because maybe you missed a text, a phone call or need to "heart" another photo on Instagram, lastly and certainly not least singing so many songs that you have thoroughly convinced yourself you are Adele.
5. Being slightly embarrassed at what I just admitted in no.4 about no.3...
6. Backing out of a parking lot trying to impress some very attractive men at how great of a driver I am, till I turn my head and notice the guy was trying to put his cart back. I stop, tell him to go, he says no you go, I blush hard core because I just noticed his massive biceps protruding from his tank top. Ahh, hmmm, avoid eye contact at all costs.....even though you are wearing dark sunglasses. Just drive awayyyyyyyy.....
7. Eating raspberries freshly picked from your grandma's garden. So fresh that you feel something rough and weird on your lip, you bring your fingers up to your mouth..what is...AHHH A WORM! I ALMOST ATE A WORM. I think I flung it down somewhere on the ground in the kitchen.......never found it.
8. Going to a bar with my cousin not knowing it was mostly line dancing. Well Katie doesn't dance in well lit areas with mass amounts of people and an empty dance floor. No i am just fine standing here having creepy old men brush my back or tip their hat to me. Where is the bathroom??
9. Your cousins' husbands' trying to tell you what pick up lines are because apparently they think you live under a rock...surrounded by bubble wrap. You guys, I have been out before. And no you are not the only ten-I-see.
10. Going to a rodeo, sitting in the blazing sun wearing rolled up jeans and converse. Come home later...Ombre legs baby! Never looked cuter with that 3 inch of tanned skin. Oh until I went to Seattle on the same day I wore a skirt and everyone received too much information thanks to the wind, I wore sandals that day and now I have 2 weird lines across my ankles, and then a jean line about 3 inches up. Heyyyyyy purdy legs.
11.Nearly falling to my death on a hike with my friend. I have weak ankles and when we were going down a hill really fast I seemed to have slipped a bit on a rock and my arms went all flappy in the air and I tilted to one side and managed to not fall. However my dignity was a little bruised. I say a little because I was behind my friend so they didn't see too much of my slippy-flappy action.
12. Made cupcakes for the fourth. Cracked an egg, WHOOPs..just got some egg shell in the batter, not to worry though I will save it!....oh, shoot...it sunk, and now everything is jumbled together and I think i am just going to pretend I didn't just lose some egg shell. I mean it was small, and no one seemed to complain of a crunch in their cupcake.
13. You and your best friend wandering around a grocery store looking for candy with a bottle of chai tea in your hand. Check your phone, oh one of your friends from high school just got engaged and what's that? oh her ring is the size of a golf ball. Mmmmmm I feel I am going places with my life. Like to the chocolate and wine isles. Really good life decisions there.
14. Going to the gym. Enough said. Well....read on...
15. Going to the gym and seeing a hot man there lifting weights. Mentally telling yourself, THERE IS NO TIME TO BE A WIMP. BE STRONG. SQUAT! LIFT! PUSH UP! REPEAT! You feel nearly dead and very sweaty, but hey, at least you looked impressive now just try not to collapse when you are walking out of the gym.....
16. Seeing an attractive man. Smiling, and a spit bubble forms. AGAIN?! Come on!? Is this going to be a reoccurring thing??
17. Going to church with your friends. Standing next to your friend who begins to dance so you join in because you think she's looking at you, she starts laughing, you start laughing...until you realize she's making eye contact with her other friend who is 3 seats down. I'll just stick to singing then.
18. Reading The Fault In Our Stars and finding myself hard core sobbing at a certain spot in the book. I don't cry when I read. And I don't read so that is saying something. But that book was really good and as far as the 6 other books I have read in my lifetime it is probably a top contender.