May 22, 2012

Life As We Know It

Hi. So I'm just sitting here, bein' all reflective like and I realize how short the time I have to be the age I am. Ya, doh Katie, you only have 10 years to be in your 20's, obviously, 365 days of being one age...etc. You get the idea. But really, I have changed my mentality a LOT from where I was last year and even 5 years ago. There are things I want more now then I ever thought I would and other things I wanted so badly a year ago, that now I really don't want for a long while. But that's life right? There are highs, there are lows, there are times we act upon those moments and other times we just let them pass. Marriage, careers, kids....I used to want 2 of those 3 things so much, but now, I only want 1 of them. If you think about it 20 years of your life go by and you are mostly taken care of by your parents and family. You live together, you eat together, you do stuff together. I guess that's what I have realized, that you are surrounded by people, who for the most part are incharge of you, what you do, what you believe, how you live. But your 20's are the time when it's just you (unless you are already married. then ignore this), just you, yourself and Y-O-U. And that time is SOOOO short. Typically people get married late 20's, some sooner, some later, but for me, I have so much I want to do-ALONE. Not necessarily literally by myself, but not being tied down to one person. Forever is a long time. A REALLY long time. You may disagree with me or you may agree. Which ever it is, that is 100% okay, it's just for me-personally, I need my me time. I think it is important for a person to spend time alone. Figure out what/who they are. What they want to do, how they want to spend their money and time. Make mistakes. Travel. Do something that makes absolutely no sense. And do something that makes all the sense in the world (at the time). We are young. We have time. I just don't want to look back on this time and go "Man, I really wish I had done__________, when I had the chance.". Once you settle down, that's it. I mean obviously not forever, because if that was the case no one would settle down. All I mean is priorities change and your responsibilities are now based upon what is best for the other person, what is better for the family. 
Right now. In this moment. I am being selfish. As selfish as I can possibly get, so when the time comes for me to settle down, I can give 100% of my heart to others. I want to have stories to tell about "That horrible evening in________." or "When I left everything behind and moved across the country." Those are those moments in time when I think I'll look back and laugh or just be happy with whatever it is I went after. I mean honestly, I don't think people ever look back on what their youth and say "Yaaa, I am really glad I stayed home and talked to my cats instead of going out to __________."....Ok yes, I know I am the person that stays home with the cats. So when i EVENTUALLY move out, hopefully I won't be the cat lady.
Yes this is a long and ranting post about how I don't want to settle down yet. How I am selfish right now. And how I just want to do stuff I want to do.  But ya know what? That's ok. That's how I feel. And those feelings will probably change, who knows when, but for right now I am going to travel, work, spend my money, and just have a fabulous time doing so. I may have regrets later on, but I'd rather have regrets about stuff I did, instead of things I didn't do.

Ok. I'm done. That's all. Have a lovely Tuesday. :)

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