July 26, 2012

The Gym

   We've all been there. THE GYM. Ya, you know that place where people who are outta shape go to. It's got a few hundred hefty machines and fans blasting everywhere. Well. Friends I am going to talk to you about it because welllllllll it must be said. The.gym.is.gross.
   I am an avid user of my gym membership and even have a V.I.P parking place. I wish. I go 4-5 times a week, get my sweat on and bust a move...or a muscle or a joint. Painful. But there comes a time (every day) when I don't want to go. The place smells of sweat and dirt mixed with a/c and a whole lot of metal. It's not a happy smell. And today it was DEFINITELY not happy. Woof.
    I walked in with my frizzy, uncontrolled hair, tied back into a bun with a headband as to hold the wings and frizz down....and by "hold down" I mean, "never mind hahahaaaa you think this little plastic band will help you but it won't". Yep. But that's another story. So anyways I walk in, when all of a sudden, "whooooooshhhhhhhhhhh", I am air assaulted by the smell of people. Sweaty people. Sweaty people, who do not know what deodorant is. Replusive.
Can I just say that this "smell of body" odor needs to stop. Are these people blind?? DO they not have a brain?? Did they accidently end up at the gym, unprepared for the day??? I mean PEOPLE YOU ARE GOING TO THE GYMMMM for goodness sakes. Gym+sweat=DEODORANT. Wear it. Please. I don't get how one doesn't put it on. It takes less than 5 seconds and boom! you are set. And you smell pleasant. People may talk to you. Just saying.

Just wear it guys and gals. It's a selfless act that one may do for their day to day life. You may even gain a friend or two.
Another thing about the gym is the awkward workouts some people do. Everyone has seen them. Don't say you haven't because I'm pretty sure you have. The one's where people are doing them and you look over there just to look around like a normal human being, when you suddenly feel like you should be ashamed and look away. Or even burn your eyes out. Ya. It's just awkward.
OH! And the sounds people make. The grunting. The "hhhhwwahhh!". The "ahhhh! I'm gonna kill you!" (i have heard it before.) words coming out of people's mouths. Scary. If you aren't looking at them, you would genuinely be concerned that some one may or may not have just kicked someone's butt with a 50 lbs weight. The only sound I make at the gym is laughter, "owww!" or breathing. I have heard a man or two singing, which to me is just lovely. I really don't mind that at all. Why doesn't everyone do that at the gym. I think it'd be just splendid. A Gym Musical. Wow....okay, I'm a little off subject...whoops.

Point being. Gyms are weird places. With "special" sounds. Full of smells that aren't usually pleasant nor something some one would want to buy as an air freshener. And that, my friends, is what I think about gyms. The end.

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