Hipsters

I would like to take the time and acknowledge a group of people called "Hipsters". First of all. Who came up with that name. Secondly, are they soooo hip they make you stir?....get it? hip-stir=hipster. 

I am not really sure who an exact hipster is because I have met some lovely "urban" folks but that is who I think of when I think "hipster". So from me to you here is my take on what being a "hipster" includes.

1.) One must wear glasses. Not normal reading glasses. No. I'm talking bigger and angular. Try to get them as rectangular or square as possible because this will make you look like an intelligent intellectual AND make you stand out from the crowd.....of other hipsters.
2.) The uglier the sweater. THE BETTER. So go out there and hit your local thrift shops because nothing says "I'm a hipster" quite like grandpa's old ripped up fishing sweater. Stain's included.
3.) Never leave the house without a camera. Preferably one that is from 1975 because that style of camera is just perfect. If you can't afford that, there is always the iPhone/instagram option. As long as you only take minimalistic photos of molding books and your minimalistic food.
4.) Males. Only wear jeans your little sister would wear. Skinny is what we're wanting here. Also make sure to avoid blue denim. Variety of colors and fabric choices are what we want to see here. And if need be bring back the cropped pants, just make sure to roll them a bit so they aren't touching your loafers or Toms.
5.) Females. Please go hunting back to when you were a child in the 80's and bring back the overall jumpers, the a line skirts made out of wool and also skinny jeans. But again. Try to avoid blue denim. It just is too mainstream. IF you are wearing a dress, make sure it looks like you bought it at value village, even if you bought it at Urban Outfitters. The less it looks like it fits you the better. Also wear tights. but not with heels, no, we prefer loafers, oxfords, or sandals that your mom may have worn when you were born.
6.) Hair. Less is more when it comes to effort. Don't over think it. If it's messy, just slightly run your fingers through it. We want you to look natural and fresh, minus the grooming. So just go with it. Hairspray it if you must to hold the bed head. If it's bad just stick a scarf in it or roll it into a high bun and call it a day.
7.) Males. It's important to have facial hair. So grow it out. Scruffier and bigger for facial hair. You want to look like you grew up on a farm in 1938.
8.) V-necks. Nah those are so 2 years ago. It's all about the heavy scoop neck. We want to see the hairy chest. Okay guys. Got it. Good.
9.) When it comes to decor. If its on the side of the street with a free sign on it and has a few rips in it, or none at a all, pick it up! Take it home! Call yourself a winner, because you my friend have just found a gem.
10.) Music. Now this is where it gets tricky. If you can play the guitar, that's good. If you can play the harmonica, that's great. But if you can play the accordian. Now wow. That's major.
11.) Try to collect as many weird looking trinkets to have around the house. But not too many! Minimalistic is the name of the game, but not so minimal it makes you look like a mainstream puppet.
12.) Tattoos and piercings. The more the better. Try to be artsy and not mainstream. Also gages. They are a must have.
13.) Thrifting. I have mentioned it a few times, but incase you didn't catch on, thrift. Thrift for your furniture, your clothes, your car, even your food. And if you aren't sure if you should buy it, just think to yourself, "would 'That 70's Show' have this?", if the answer is no, walk away. And continue to....Thrift thrift thrift!
14.) If you have children, they too must be hipster children. Please don't give them too much when it comes to toys and clothing, they need to look thrifty too. Haircuts as well. Keep it natural and long (both genders).
15.) Go organic or go away. Also please recycle.
16.) Last one here. Try not to live in cities. Try to live in areas that are sad or look like they aren't in 2012. We want you to feel like you're still in the 70's. Even if you were never born then. Okay.

There's some tips and tricks to being a hipster. So go out there and use them! I hope these work for you. Have a lovely Monday.