June 26, 2015

Awkward Friday!

Here we go! Friday awkward moments!!!! I know you have all waited for this with baited breath, we all know by now that I am as awkward as Bridget Jones so yippeeeeeee......I still haven't phased out of this stage nor do I think I ever will. Good.


1. I went to a concert last Saturday and knowing full well every song and every lyric, every hand gesture and every head bob I felt pretty confident I would look like a cool kid. Get to a certain part in the song where you are supposed to put your hand up and raise it to the ceiling. Up went my hand and no one else's. So back down went my hand, and because I felt that it was obvious to everyone else that I did not have the right timing to that part of the song I decided to stretch my arm out in front of me 2 more TIMES! Because maybe I was just stretching my arm out?? Maybe I had a crick in my neck....no one asked so therefore that was the answer....

2. Same concert. My sister and I were seated 8 rows apart but on the floor. I was in row 10, she was in row 2. The opening band goes "Everyone who came here with someone you love, a friend, a sibling, a lover, go ahead turn to them and put your arm around them and say you appreciate them!" Uhhh....well I am in between a couple to my left and group of drunken women on my right, I think I hugged myself and wished I was hugging a person. Then the band goes "All of you next to someone you don't know, buddy up and say "I APPRECIATE YOU!"' I wanted to die. Nothing I love more than hugging and hugging a stranger......gah. Then the drunken ladies let me join their group, which was great. FRIENDS!

3. Going to the gym to meet up with a friend for a "Cardio/core" class. Got to the class and the instructor was super friendly so I assumed that the class would be tolerable. Nope. So wrong so very wrong. I have never wished to run out of a class more in my life. I didn't but I seriously thought about it. The worst part of the whole thing was the mirrors. The terrible mirrors that truthfully show you all of your flaws. I thought I looked identical if not better then the instructor when in fact I looked like I had jello legs when I was doing a high-knee jog. Yay.

4. Trying to be clever on the spot and hilarious has been a challenge for me recently and I have no idea why. But, words are hard.

5. Leaving a store all cool like and being all "I'm an adult, look at me I bought something cool!" And then running that item into the door frame and knocking over the "OPEN" sign sitting outside the door. 

6. I think graduation was also fantastically weird too. I was the last one to cross the stage. So I clapped for each one of my classmates, the line clearly getting shorter, when suddenly I was alone at the bottom of the stairs clapping for my friend and it was just me myself and I.....then the announcer called my name beginning with "AND..." Hello everyone, mom, dad, grandmas, aunt, uncle, sisters, fellow classmates families, professors, the commoners...everyone else, sorry for being the last one to cross this stage, I'll just run across stage. My dad said I was very speedy, when I felt very not speedy. Time...and attention, it does weird things to me.

7. Getting sick in california. The morning I was flying home. Thus I was disgusting, and probably looked like someone had rolled over me with a truck and hadn't fed me in years. I had showered but obviously no makeup and a wet mop of hair does not look good on anyone (not even Blake Lively....actually she probably looks great if not better that way....) The TSA people just stared at me, I moved like a sloth through the terminal and just wanted to cry. I am glad that the plane was filled with old kind people who took pity on me. 

8. Being on TV for doing nothing and everyone else clearly had done something. I will just stand here all clean like while you sweaty dirty folks celebrate an accomplishment. YAY

Welcome to summer everyone. I hope you all have a great weekend and that you can enjoy it! I am off to get my hair done. Which is my favorite thing ever!!

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