These are words I chose to describe my current mental status.
Currently I am working two jobs, applying to grad school, trying to save any penny I can after I pay student loans, cell phone, gas, and the ever current event, christmas presents.
I don't really know what to say to myself at times like these, when the thoughts that run through my head constantly are "Get your life together lady!" "You can't afford that" "What are you doing?!" Fun times in my head.
I am really thankful for my family though, those people pull me through some serious self-loathing and make me feel like I am doing okay. Thank goodness.
Holidays for me were stressful, which means I ate a lot and drank a few more glasses of wine than I allow myself per week, but hey, calories don't count in December.
One thing is for sure, updating relatives that you only see during the holidays on what you're up to is not my favorite thing. For some reason, I feel it's necessary to exaggerate on items in my life. I feel it adds excitement or interest to my stories and keeps the viewers interested in me. Because living at home really doesn't seem to spell out "success" in the eyes of some relatives. At least my parents are amazing people. Rant over.
So on Christmas Eve, my family goes to multiple church services because of Dad being in choir, mom helping with communion, sister is singing, and I am helping with communion.....well the late service came round and I had the lovely and very nerve racking job of holding a cup of grape juice and saying "Blood shed for you" to a lot of folk while the dipped their bread into the cup. All was well until a woman approached me, ate her bread and then reached for the cup. She was nearly trying to yank the cup out of my hands while I was standing there resisting the pull of her grip and saying "No we don't do that, let me get you a cup!" I tried to tell her I would get her a glass, she looked at me confused and began to walk away (defeated because she couldn't contaminate the juice cup) I tried to tell her to say, my friend brought her a cup and she had already gone. It was awkward and uncomfortable. The end.
Merry Christmas! Have a great New Years!
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